An eye-opener
Do you know who ‘John Paul’ is? A million dollar question hehehe.. well basically even I was asking this question to myself… who really am I? for all the issues and question regarding my character, identity, just being me.
Well for the past weeks, I’ve was caught into an enemy’s trap… I basically fall for it… I’ve harbored bitterness, unforgiveness, and created a wrong mindset to other people… Coz I was really fed up… I got burned-out by all the issues that’s been going on for the past weeks…
Honestly it was painful and I got so paranoid with it… the worse part of it, well I’m not pleasing God for all the things that I’ve been doing… I was so full of ME! ME! ME!... I’m being self-righteous…
But thank God for still loving me… for still wanting me to change... for still giving me a chance… I wondered why all the preachings, all the talks, and all the quiet times that I’ve been and done with were basically pointing towards to this realization… STOP FOCUSING ABOUT YOURSELF!!!
It was an EYE-OPENER for me… and now I’m giving and throwing it up, all the bitterness and unforgiveness that’s within me… I’ll stop focusing about myself… and be a solution-finder rather than a faultfinder. I’d rather focus on the people who needs help and who are lost… I’d rather focus on pointing and helping my small group members towards their walk with God, I’d rather focus on the positive things and the blessings that God has giving me, I’d rather focus on glorifying and pleasing God rather than to other people.
As for those who doesn’t like me, or who have issues with me… well the only thing that I could do for now is to pray for them… and continuously pray for myself that I won’t harbor any bitterness with them, and also pray for reconciliation. It is not I who can change them, but only God. It is not my job to please them… It is not my job to condemn them.
1Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. 2Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. 3If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. 4Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, 5for each one should carry his own load. Galatians 6:1-5 (New International Version)
Now I’d like to take this opportunity to apologized to all the people that I have hurt with.. to all the people who I have not given a second chance.. to the people who I have made broken-pacts.
But I’ll stick to my conviction to live an UNCOMMON life… to pray and try to live a life of honoring God, to stay away of any acts of sinful nature (impurity, immorality, hatred, selfish ambition, dissensions, greed, lustful talks) … and the only thing that I can do this is with Christ… cos apart from Him (Jesus) I am nothing… I know by the grace of God I can do this…
Now I’m bound to have a change of mindset… change of heart… change of character… I won’t let the enemy to hold anything that will hinder me from seeing and hearing on what God would want me to do… I’d stop focusing on myself… I’d rather learn from my mistakes on the past… and change that is wrong with my character… learn to control my temper, learn to shut-up and think first before I speak, and to stop being over-sensitive… coz I’m not pleasing God by doing those kind of things…
Last thing, I’ve learned to weigh things fairly, to be vigilant enough to secure what’s mine… to provide boundary to all my conversation… to let God’s wisdom fill me up.
I want to be used by God than the gods of this world…
Now for the question; who am I? well let’s just wait and see… that’s for my next blog…
God bless you all and please do pray for me brothers and sisters!!!
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