Saturday, October 28, 2006

Insecurities (A letter to God)


God,

I'm having a difficult struggle towards my insecurities. Yes, most of my friends see me as a tough leader/person but what they doesn't know (coz I used to just keep it only to myself) is I'm also like a child who cries and hurting when nobody sees me. I wish I could live a life with no pretensions and that they would also accept all my weaknesses as a person and not only think of my strong characteristics. Just like Gary V.'s "Warrior is a Child"

"They don't know that I go running home when I fall down.
They don't know who picks me up when no one is around.
I drop my sword and cry for just a while,
'cause deep inside this armor, the warrior is a child."


That song completely describes what I feel right now... about being insecure to others...

I'm insecure about my physical features, social ability, and my talents...

I lift them up all to you God, and by FAITH, I will follow whatever your will is...

In Jesus name. Amen.

Your Son,
"J"

Audition

For the past 3 years, I have done several auditions on various TV shows. These includes the scriptwriting scholarship for Ricky Lee, as a Y Speak correspondent on Studio 23's Y-Speak (luckily i got a chance to go to the final audition and made a documentary), and recently last June 2006 for the PDA and PBB Season 2.

Honestly, I have nothing against nor to be shame about these actions I have been doing, and definitely most of my colleagues doesn't know about this but I'm very much proud to shout this part of my experiences to everyone. Others would definitely say that auditioning is only for the masses and mostly those who are "promdis" and "makakapal ang mukha", but having been a witness to such auditions I could say that it is definitely not true! Most of the personalities who have been going to auditions are mostly came from the Class A and B of the society. Thus, it only means that dreaming to be a TV personality is for everyone. It's simply like you're only applying for a job.

One of the most recent auditons I've been is the auditions for the music team on our church, no cameras and definitely not to be a talent of a certain network, but this is the most nerve-racking auditions I've tried which also includes the most unexpected and unusual thing for me to do. It's different because I need to audition for the singer's training and soon to be part of the church band and choir. Surprisingly, I passed the audition with a grade of 43/50. Amidst of passing the audition, I still can't believe that I could sing hahaha. Above all this, I think it's simply God's will and he wanted me to be part of this as others would say slowly I'm living one of my wildest dream.

Keep on BELIEVING!!!

Armor of God

"Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you ay be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the BELT OF TRUTH buckled around your waist, with the BREASPLATE OF RIGHTEOUSNESS in place, and with your FEET FITTED WITH THE READINESS OF THE GOSPEL. In addition to all this, take up the SHIELD OF FAITH, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. take the HELMET OF SALVATION and the SWORD OF THE SPIRIT, which is the word of God" (NIV)
Ephesians 6:13-17

Friday, October 27, 2006

Starting Line



The History

I already have 3 blogs in various blogsites, posted in those blogs are my personal insights about anything. I started writing blogs since the year 2004, and from then on most of my blog topics are hatred and anger... and that pisses me off!

Starting a New Journey

Not until I found God. July 2006, my friend invited me to attend a service at Victory Christian Fellowship at Robinsons Galleria, and from that day on, as others would say, the rest is history!

And now as a change man... I would like to document my new journey as a Christian, and somehow I would be able to reach others through my blog.

I name this blog "Optimistician" simply because I'm very optimistic in everything that I do... (I just don't know if there is such a word "Optimistician"...)

Behind the Optimistician

To start with, my name is J (nickname), basically others would describe me as the misunderstood person, some would describe me "mayabang" and others would describe me as a very shy person. As for me, I would rather describe myself as a very deep person and as I go along with my blog, I hope you would get to know more the true me.

What to Expect?

This blog site basically serves as my online bio. My experiences. My personal insights. My Open letter to God.