My Failures made me Stronger

I have commited lots of mistakes in the past and most of them made me numd as a person until I found Jesus.

I admit my lfe are filled with insecurities, worries, regrets, and pains --- which leads me on being alone thus being lonely. Some of the people I have treated as my friends left me, maybe because I let them or maybe they just wanted to --- Some also left me because they just don't need me anymore. That's how my insecurities grow inside of me. My heart is numd, and it is difficult for me to show the emptiness in me to others. Its hard because most of the time, they are the ones who ask me for an advice but as for me, I don't have anyone to share with my own problems, not because I don't have to... but because I have build up my strong reputation to take care of.

Another trait that manifested on me, that made me hate myself, is being a hot-tempered person, but that is way back 2005. My friends have known me as a calm person since I always rationalized those problems. Not until 2005, I started to show the other side of John Paul, a hot-tempered one filled with prdie and arrogance, even I was afraid of myself.

I have burned many bridges with my colleagues, treated them like a dirt, just because my past mold me that way, and I let it. My life is a failure then, I used to spend most of my time drinking with my friends and having fun badly.

My life then was crushed... I was broken...

But then, I have found Jesus. He never left me at all eventhough I was the one who left him, it made me whole once again, he molded me into a better person, he made me realize that my failure is my strenght to live on, run and finish my race.

I firmly believed that our no matter how are failures destroy us, our hope and faith tested us, God is still there, He will never leave us.

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the Love of god that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (NIV) Romans 8:38-39